So This Isn't an April Fool's Day Joke?
by MissCar
Summary: Nyota's reaction to receiving an invitation to her ex boyfriend's engagement party on April 1. Did she mention that her ex is supposedly engaged to her captain? This must be a joke or not. Extended by popular demand. K/U and U/HS friendship with K/S
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** So This Isn't an April Fool's Day Joke?

**Summary:** Nyota's reaction to receiving an invitation to her ex boyfriend's engagement party on April 1. Did she mention that her ex is supposedly engaged to her captain? This must be a joke.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Star Trek. I'm just the latest person to reinterpret the material. Unfortunately, I'm not being paid to do it.

Thank you to Teddy Bear for reviewing this. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.

_**

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**_

From:

_HillMA _

_**To:**__ Enterprise_Users_

_**Subject:**__ Engagement Party for Captain Kirk and Commander Spock_

_**Time Send: **__4/1/2261 18:31:21_

_You are cordially invited to the Engagement party of Commander Spock and Captain Kirk._

_**When: **__April 4 at 1900 hours_

_**Where: **__REC room three_

_**Alcohol: **__Yes, there will be alcohol served courtesy of Engineering, but don't tell Starfleet that. If you're technically on duty, don't even think about it. If you are on duty the next morning, don't overdo it. Dr. McCoy has already refused to give out hangover cures to 'overindulged idiots who can't hold their liquor'._

_Contact Ensign Chekhov if you want to help with decorations._

_Contact lieutenant Sulu if you want to help with food._

_In accordance with Starfleet regulation 3.5.67d regarding giving gifts to a superior officer, if you would like to make a contribution of 10 credits or fewer to the engagement present fund, please see me or Dr. McCoy._

_

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_

The first time she read the message, she thought it was an April fool's day joke. It just seemed like something Jim would do to build up crew morale. April was a really bad month in general for most of the crew due to the anniversary of the battle of Vulcan which happened three years ago this month. Forcing his new Yeoman Michael to send out a ship wide e-mail about a phony engagement party just to break the tension seemed like a Jim Kirk type of thing. It was a unique out of the box solution that screamed Jim Kirk. After the last few crazy missions involving first contacts that went to hell and spores that made everybody break out into song, they really did need an excuse to unwind. A party would be good.

Obviously, it had to be a joke because there was no way in hell her ex boyfriend was getting married. More importantly, there was no way her ex boyfriend was marrying Jim Kirk even if she knew that the two were very close. It was a brotherly type of closeness so therefore marriage was not an option. So she may have seen a few Vulcan style kisses between the two, but that didn't mean anything. Okay so it was more than a few, but it didn't count.

However, the number one reason she was sure this was a manifestation of Jim Kirk's twisted sense of humor was that Spock would not get engaged without him telling her first. There is no way he would allow her to find out about his impending marriage via an invitation to his engagement party no matter who the fiancée was.

She would not be upset if Spock did get married. They haven't been together for a while so she had no justifiable reason to be upset. She knew that unlike her he wanted to get married someday. When they were together, he told her that bonding/marriage was a biological necessity for Vulcans without elaborating on it any further. Nyota knew this day was coming eventually but she was sure this wasn't it.

After they broke up a year and a half ago because their relationship just wasn't going in a white picket fence direction they stayed friends. They were not the best of friends but they still talked a couple of times a week outside of duty and hung out on occasion. They hung out as much as Vulcans do anyway. It was easier to get Spock to do something non-work related after they broke up, actually. She was close enough to Spock to know if he had a new significant other.

Yes, he mentioned Jim's name every other moment when they occasionally had lunch together but he never said he and the captain were together romantically. Also, Spock had a tendency to practically live in sick bay every time Jim got hurt but that was just a sign of how close their friendship was. If it was more than that, Spock would have told her. Therefore, because she knew nothing about a possible relationship, this had to be a joke.

This led to the following instant message exchange with her captain that she sincerely wishes she never had, because denial is a wonderful state to live in:

_**

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**_

UhuraNA:

_Very funny. __I thought you would be able to come up with a better excuse for a party to get everyone's mind off what happened three years ago this month.__Next year, come up with an April fool's day prank that isn't so obvious._

_**KirkJT: **__What April fool's day joke? You know I banned all practical jokes on the ship after the incident last year with Chekhov having green hair for most of April and some idiot reconfiguring the food replicators to add chocolate to every single vegetarian dish on the menu. Remember drunk Spock and the two crew members who ended up in sick bay due to a severe allergic reaction to chocolate. Come to think Of it, that last joke wasn't entirely horrible. Drunk Spock was fascinating and it was nice not being the person being treated for anaphylactic shock. _

She remembered those two jokes from last year. Chekhov almost killed Sulu for that little stunt. Also, the negotiations that they were participating in at the time almost completely fell apart because the other party thought Chekhov was possessed by angry spirits due to his hair color. A member of her team was one of the two individuals that ended up in sickbay due to the severe reaction to chocolate and was off duty for four days to recover from nearly dying. Spock was completely sloshed before they figured out his favorite curry dish contain high levels of cacao. She remembered that the only person who could get him to go back to his quarters to sleep it off was Jim. Then again, maybe that happened because she was preoccupied making sure her best communications officer didn't die because of a practical joke.

_**Uhurana:**__I'm talking about the joke where you had _Janice_'s very green replacement send out a ship wide invitation to a party to celebrate your engagement to Spock.__There is no way you and Spock are getting married. It's obviously a joke._

_**KirkJT: **__Oh fuck, he didn't tell you. I'm gonna kill him. Then I'm going to kill Michael for sending out that invitation to the entire ship without asking me if I even wanted an engagement party__.__ I'm __miss _Janice_. __She was the best. __She never did stupid shit like this._

_**UhuraNA**__:__I miss her too, but you were the one who promoted her. __I assume the person you want to kill first is Spock.__What did he not tell me?_

There was a 15-minute gap before Jim replied.

**KirkJT: **Spock and I are really getting married. It was not a joke.

_**UhuraNA**__:__WTF?_

The above message was all she was able to get out. Okay so she dropped her PADD when she read Jim's last message. However, that was not an indication that she was still in love with her ex boyfriend a teeny tiny bit. She was 100% over Spock. She really was 100% over her ex boyfriend who she dated for two years. It was more pure shock at the fact that he was marrying Jim Kirk. Part of her was still hoping this was the mother of all April fool's day jokes. There had to be some rational explanation for this.

**KirkJT: **We've been together for a while, but we didn't say anything until our relationship was officially sanctioned by the bureaucrats on earth. Spock told me he was going to tell you before we told anybody else. I did not even tell Michael. He must have read the e-mail from the Admiralty. He probably believed throwing an engagement party would get him bonus points come evaluation time. He is so fired.

_**UhuraNA**__:__You and Spock are really getting married? You don't do marriage or dating. I know Vulcans don't care about the gender of their partners but I've never seen you with anyone who did not have__ genitalia __that resembled a human __Vagina __or breasts. Then again, I have always said that you will sleep with __anyone__. You are both federation citizens, so this is not a green card thing. You're not pregnant?_

She added that last part to the message as a joke but then again this is Enterprise. Nothing is outside the realm of possible when Jim Kirk is involved. Of course, she forgot that some male Vulcans could get pregnant.

_**KirkJT: **__We're getting married because we love each other and I can't see my life without him. No dead rabbits are responsible for this marriage. I'm not even sure Spock is one of those Vulcans that can get pregnant. I guess I really should ask. There's way too much stuff about Vulcan biology I don't know yet and I don't want another surprise like last time. Technically by Vulcan standards we are already bonded thanks to an 'undisclosed medical situation' that happened a few months ago after the fungus induced sing-along. I don't count the marriage if you have to do it for medical reasons. That's why we're doing it the human way now complete with engagement rings and me getting down on one knee._

_**UhuraNA:**__Your last statement confuses me, but Spock did tell me that there was a biological imperative that required Vulcans to find a bond mate eventually. It was a contributing factor to our break up. I didn't want to marry him just because I had to but you did._

_**KirkJT: **__That wasn't the only reason why, it just moved up the timetable. It was going to happen anyway. I'm really sorry you found out about it like this. Last year at this time, I found out my ex girlfriend, who I propose to myself years ago, was marrying a former friend of mine when I saw the engagement announcement on the net. It was not fun. _

_I haven't had time to read through all my messages yet. I didn't know anything about the party until you told me. This is funny because they usually have to ask my permission for that sort of thing. _

_**UhuraNA:**__ Michael probably went over your head. _

_Also, you probably were not friends with your ex. __This is not the same thing, Spock didn't tell me that you guys were even dating, let alone in the type of relationship where engagement was possible. __I knew you two were close but not that close._

_You had an ex girlfriend that you almost married?_

So that last message was slightly rambling but whatever.

_**KirkJT: **__Of course, I was not friends with Carol. She was a bitch. She laughed in my face when I propose to her. Why is everybody so surprise when they find out about that? _

**UhuraNA: **_Sorry about that. __I'm just surprised because I haven't seen you with the same individual twice and I've known you for over five years. __Then again, by this point I should really learn never to assume anything about you. __You have always been the complete opposite of who I think you are, why should now be any different?_

**KirkJT: **_I'm going to take some of that as a compliment. I can do monogamy. I'm not a slut._

_**UhuraNA:**__ I know, otherwise you and Spock would not be together. __How did it happen? __More importantly, why didn't he tell me?_

_**KirkJT: **__What are you more mad about, Spock and me being together or not knowing about it?_

She thought about the question for a moment. What was she more upset about? She wanted to say that she was not upset at all about her ex getting married but that would probably be a lie. It bothered her a little in an 'it really is completely over' sort of way. However, she's gotten used to the idea that they were friends and the fact that he didn't tell her this made her wonder if they really were. That hurt a lot more than him getting married in the first place. Then again, she really wasn't looking forward to going to a party where everybody would ask her if she was okay with it every 30 seconds.

_**UhuraNA:**__ I wouldn't be human if I said I was completely 100% happy that he's getting married. __However, if I still wanted to be with him, I would have put a ring on it myself. __At least I can tolerate you now, so that's a point in your favor. __I think I'm angrier about the fact that I found out in an e-mail._

Her answer was a lot more honest than she thought it would be.

_**KirkJT: **__Again, I'm sorry about that and I promise to yell at Spock for you. __This wasn't just about you,__we couldn't tell anyone. __You know how Starfleet regulations are regarding 'dating' within the ranks of a command team. All the love of the bombardment __Does it make you feel better to know I did not even tell Bones that we were together until the unspecified medical emergency? I have not__ told him about the human wedding thing yet. __Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't barged into my quarters yet to see if I've completely lost my mind._

_**UhuraNA**__: Actually, it does make me feel better. You should know he's in charge of the engagement present. You were not allowed to date, but marriage is perfectly acceptable? That makes no sense. _

_**KirkJT: **__The rules are ridiculous, but I guess Starfleet doesn't want to risk a good _command team for a one night stand.

_We're getting green socks now. Michael is so fired for that alone. He's my best friend, but _Bones_ can't pick out a good gift if his life was dependent upon it. _

She laughed that that part before typing her response.

**UhuraNA:**_ So exactly how did this happen? __I think there is a better chance that you'll tell me then Spock._

_**KirkJT: **__When I walked Spock back to his quarters after last year's April fool's day spectacular, he kissed me and confessed he loved me before passing out. I completely freaked out and decided to pretend nothing happened._

Why isn't she surprised chocolate was involved for Spock to confess is love for Jim or anyone for that matter. Let's just say that was another contributing factor to the break up.

_**UhuraNA:**_ _So after you were a complete idiot what happened? By the way, do you know how lucky you are that he actually said the words to you?_

_**KirkJT: **Trust me, I know. It was actually my future father in law that smacked me upside the head figuratively at the second annual memorial service for the battle of Vulcan. Things got better after that._

_**UhuraNA: **I'm laughing right now. I wish I saw that._

_**KirkJT: **I knew you would. I should've known that something was going on when several crewmembers asked if they could have the evening of the fourth off. If one more person asks me for time off, I'm going to end up missing my own party to cover._

_**UhuraNA:** Actually, I think it's more likely Spock would work through the party to avoid it._

_**KirkJT: **Very likely. I should be receiving that request any moment now._

_**UhuraNA:**I could be on duty. If I volunteered, you know who will not have an excuse to get out of the party._

She loves a good party as much as the next person but she just didn't want to be at her ex's engagement party. Too many nosy people asking stupid questions about things that don't concern them. Besides forcing Spock to go to his own party under duress would be perfect revenge for not telling her.

_**KirkJT: **_You never miss an opportunity for good cake?

_**UhuraNA:**__ Nothing that comes out of a replicator is good. __Besides, I'm not going to turn down an opportunity to be in charge of the bridge. __It's better than dodging questions from invasive people who are expecting me to break down and cry at any moment._

_**KirkJT: **__They'll be waiting for a while__**. **__I knew you would volunteer. ;)_

_**UhuraNA:**__ You're evil sometimes._

_**KirkJT: **__But you like me anyway._

_**UhuraNA:**__ Surprisingly enough, yes. Congratulations. If you hurt him, I will kill you._

She typed that part wholeheartedly.

_**KirkJT: **__I wouldn't expect anything_ less.

The end


	2. The Joke's On You

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last part. This was really meant to be a one shot but this extra idea has been bouncing around in my head for the last few weeks and I decided to post it. This is for Blue-Eyed Chica who asked for more. I know you wanted the party but this is what I came up with instead. This is the first time I've done something from Sulu's perspective, so please let me know how I did.

Thank you to Francesca Monterone for reviewing this chapter.

**The Joke's On You**

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April 1 was Hikaru's favorite day. Ever since he had been a little boy growing up in San Francisco, he had enjoyed the one day of the year where it was perfectly okay to play jokes on everybody. His love of April fool's day began when he was seven and he told his little sister that all the plants in the backyard were carnivorous. She was terrified to go back there for weeks. A few years later, when he caused his fencing instructor to faint due to a strategically placed fake blood bag, he was hooked.

His April fool's day jokes became legendary at Starfleet Academy. He probably would have ended up in front of all the admirals himself if they had ever figured out he was the one who was responsible for Admiral Archer's vintage car being destroyed during his second year.

He would admit that last year's green hair thing had been a little on the lame side but he had been working double shifts in the botany lab analyzing the medicinal qualities of the plant samples they had brought back from the last two planets they had visited. He had not had the time to do something more creative. He did not anticipate the effect green hair would have on the negotiations, but it was not his fault, because someone at headquarters forgot to put that piece of information in the briefing paper. Chekhov eventually started talking to him again by May, so it was all good.

His jokes were usually harmless other than the property damage. Their sole purpose was to cheer people up and considering how depressed everybody was in April because of what happened a few years ago, April fool's day was more important than ever. However, thanks to some idiot who only thought about themselves this year Hikaru and the rest of the crew of Enterprise were banned from pulling any jokes whatsoever. Even the use of ancient Joy buzzards were banned.

Even he would admit that seeing a completely sloshed Spock was beyond funny due to the fact he kept petting the captain in public. However, he knew better than to do something like that. Hikaru had seen one too many Jim Kirk almost deadly allergic reactions to consciously do anything that could trigger one. He didn't want to risk killing his captain for a practical joke. Jim might not currently be allergic to chocolate, but that didn't mean anything with Jim Kirk. The man developed new allergies on a daily basis. Just three weeks ago, he had returned from an away mission covered in purple blotches after making prolonged contact with the planet's version of grass after he and Commander Spock had separated from the group.

Also, let us not forget about the other people on the crew with deadly allergies. Unfortunately, chocolate allergies were a lot more common now. Hikaru could have reprogrammed the replicator to only add cocoa to Spock's dishes but due to Jim's tendency to eat off his plate it would've been just as dangerous. However, Lieutenant Hill did not have such ethical reservations.

His little joke last year had almost killed two people. If it hadn't been for Dr. McCoy's tendency to carry an anti allergy hypo everywhere due to their Captain, those two probably would have died. Thanks to the stupidity of Hill, Hikaru was prohibited from pulling any jokes this year. For that alone Michael would pay.

The first thing he did when he found out who was responsible for the practical joke prohibition was tell Spock. He assumed that as one of the victims Spock would punish Michael harder than Jim ever would. Hikaru was right. Although he was not kicked off the ship, due to his wife being a member of the engineering team, he was demoted and was forced to become Jim's personal yeoman. Anyone who had had to pick up after Jim Kirk and remind him to actually do his paperwork would tell you that that was a fate worse than being court-martialed. His friend Janice was the only Yeoman Jim Kirk ever had that could deal with their captain and she had promptly been rewarded. No one else stood a chance. Hikaru doubted that Spock had ever told Jim that Michael was responsible, because otherwise Jim would not have agreed for the man to be his assistant.

The second part of his revenge was an April fool's day prank that would be sure to get Michael grounded. Even though he was not as skilled as some of his colleagues in computers, it wasn't that hard to get Michael's password for his e-mail account. Using his wife's name spelled backwards with the current year was just too obvious. He figured it out in two guesses. Hikaru's plan was to pull the mother of all jokes in Michael's name. For the best results, this needed to be personal. Therefore, he came up with the idea of announcing that the two most unlikely people on the ship were engaged to each other. It would be hilarious and they would be furious. Even though they spent 99.9% of their time together, there was no way Jim Kirk would ever get married especially to another guy. If Jim Kirk was not 100% heterosexual, it would have been obvious by now or so he thought. When would he learn to never assume anything when Jim Kirk was involved?

Chekhov was the one who suggested that he make it an engagement party invitation. He thought it was a good idea because a party would cheer everyone up and Jim would most likely allow it to occur because he was cool like that. To avoid suspicion, he made himself one of the people being forced to put the party together. Much like last year, this particular joke backfired on him. This resulted in him hiding in a Jefferson tube for the second year in a row. (Don't ask.)

Really, he should have known something was up the next morning when he never received a message from his captain or first officer denying that they were engaged. However, there was a message from Nyota stating that she was now in charge of the 'engagement present fund'. Considering it was from her, he thought it was a late April fool's day joke. No one would be that okay with their ex getting married if he were really getting married

He did received a message from Jim telling him that he would be in charge of the bridge for the first hour of Alpha shift because the captain and Spock had to deal with a disciplinary matter that required both of them. When Nyota wasn't on the bridge either, he just assumed she was also being punished for her early morning joke. That theory did not make sense considering the fact she arrived on the bridge smiling in addition to giving him really strange looks the first half of shift. This is why he made it a point to ask her what happened that morning when he caught up with her during lunch.

"After a very nice breakfast where my ex boyfriend profusely apologize for me finding out about his pending marriage via e-mail, I witnessed Jim and Spock terrorize his yeoman. We are all sure he was responsible for the surprise engagement party. He denies sending the message even though he did know that the two were engaged. He says he doesn't even like parties so why would he throw one. Jim decided that his punishment is that he is going to be my personal 'assistant' for the next two weeks before he returns to engineering to deal with jobs thought up by Scotty that will make Delta Vega seem like a pleasant alternative. Personally, I think the punishment is more for Jim finding out who was responsible for the chocolate prank last year. He wasn't very happy that Spock handled the disciplinary matter without him. It was a fun argument to watch. If I hadn't been there they probably would have started making out." As she said the words he stared at her for a few moments not knowing how to respond. It was real? That was not possible. The two were just friends. They were like brothers not lovers. This had to be a joke to get back at him for what he did before he received his real punishment.

"They are really together?" He asked in complete shock and slight denial. Then at that moment he looked over at his captain who happened to be sitting next to Spock. Jim's fingers were discreetly grazing over Spock's hand in a gesture that even he knew was a kiss. He dropped his tray at that moment. A

"They're very together." Nyota assured him."I didn't know until last night and that was mostly because I was living in denial land. Those two have a tendency to make out in public Vulcan style a lot, but I just wasn't ready to see it. Every time I saw something like that I would tell myself that they were just really good friends and that it can't be more than that because Jim Kirk is straight. Sometimes we see what we want to see. They are perfect for each other in the most annoying way possible." She said with a laugh.

Several thoughts were going through his mind at that moment. First, his two friends were in a relationship and he had had no clue. Why didn't Jim tell him? Second, Nyota seem to be handling just a little too well. That right there was proof that this was a joke, because no one could be that well adjusted about their ex.

"You're ok with your ex getting married to Jim Kirk? This must be a joke too."

"Do you know that you're the 50th person to ask me that question in one form or another today alone? It's annoying." She said sitting her tray on a nearby table.

"Sorry." He said as he bent down to pick up his lunch. Great, now he would have to get back in that awful line again.

"As much as this seems like a joke it's very real. I'm okay with the two of them getting married even if I don't want to be at the engagement party. I wasn't okay finding out that my friend was getting married via e-mail. That hurt. I felt better once I found out they didn't tell anybody not even their friends because of Starfleet strong rules about relationships between members of a command team. Wait, how can you not already know this? You were helping to plan the engagement party." If he had been paying attention, he would have noticed the gleam in her eyes.

"I didn't know. I didn't even know Jim was bi, pan, or whatever. It wasn't like I ever ran into him at Purple Hills back at the academy or a similar establishment during shore leave. You would think this is something he would have mentioned to someone who is supposedly his friend. I guess that explains why I received so many emails this morning from people who want to help with the party." He said as he started cleaning up.

"I guess that make sense. Leonard didn't know either. He used several colorful phrases before he convinced me to take over the present fund. You don't want to know what's going to happen to Michael during his next prostate exam." He winced at the mental image. McCoy was going to be pissed. He was screwed.

"I'm only doing it because I enjoy shopping with other people's money. I'm just glad Michael didn't volunteer me to be part of the party crew otherwise he would have found out what I learned from all the combat classes at took at the academy because I was bored. I already want to hurt him, because he was the reason I found out that my ex is getting married via e-mail." He winced at that. She was going to kill him when she found out what he had done. There was a reason she was the communications officer brought down on planets with populations more likely to be hostile. He was completely fucked.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again.

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't have anything to do with it." There was no point of lying to a communications officer even with silence. No one could read body language better than her. This explained why she physically pulled him out into the hallway causing his tray to fall down again.

"Explain now." Nyota demanded with a cold expression that made Delta Vega seem like a tropical paradise. He couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"Michael was really innocent. You did this?" She asked and he nodded slowly.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" The fact that she used an expletive told Hikaru he was in serious trouble. She was obviously beyond angry in a homicidal way.

"The joke was only supposed to affect Michael. If it wasn't for him and his carelessness last year I could have enjoyed April 1 as I normally do. I didn't know that they were actually together." He said defensively. "Although that does explain why Spock calls sickbay every 10 minutes whenever Jim gets hurt."

"No one did, because as I said earlier Jim and Spock were trying to keep this a secret until Starfleet approve their relationship. You better just be glad the Admiralty approved their relationship three days ago and it's now OK for the two to go public. Jim would have killed you and Spock would have found a logical explanation to get him off. Then again, it may be the other way around. You remember what happened on the bridge." He gulped for air as she held on to him.

"Are you going to tell Jim and Spock what really happened?" He asked as he envisioned what they would do to him. It wasn't pretty.

"No." She said letting him go. He took a breath in relief before he realized that she was still angry.

"You're not getting off that easy. Do you remember during the first year when Jim refused to let me go on a certain away mission because he thought it was too dangerous to bring me on?" She asked.

"Yes." He said with a worried expression on his face.

"Do you remember why he changed his mind?"

"You managed to beat a security member twice your size by yourself in unarmed combat." He said starting to become worried.

"It makes me thankful that my father was paranoid and forced me to take a lot of self-defense classes. Of course, he sold it to me under the guise that I would more likely be allowed to leave the ship if I could defend myself. You may be great with a sword but you are completely unarmed. Run." Considering her expression, he decided it was best to do what she said; because she was the scariest woman he had ever met. This was how he accidentally got stuck in a Jefferson tube again.

He would eventually find out that she had just stood there and started laughing as he ran away. He was sure she was the one who arranged for him to be sealed inside one of the tubes. Everyone in engineering loved her. He didn't believe for one moment it had been a computer malfunction. He was pretty sure engineering taking 5 hours to get him out was part of his punishment too. The hysterically laughing captain was a dead giveaway. Maybe next time, he should just skip the practical jokes.

Then again, next year he could send out a fake birth announcement involving Jim and Spock having a kid together. There was just no way that could backfire…

**The end until next April**


End file.
